Week 3, Post-Trial -- Minato

[overworker]

[ Towa waits until after the meeting-- she's exhausted in truth but rather than her own door... she finds herself standing outside of Minato's door. For a long moment she struggles with the idea of knocking. But after several thoughts, she sighs and lowers her hand. She end up sitting outside, with her back to his door, thinking. ]

...hey. If you're there, just... listen to me for a moment, okay? You don't have to say anything. I just... wanted to say it myself.

[ It might be easier to say if she doesn't have to look at him right now. ]

What happened today wasn't your fault in any way. If you feel like there's something you should have been able to do that you didn't-- then we're all guilty of the same thing. We were all right there with them. I listened to Eliza's stories about her precious family... I knew that she had to be suffering. I knew how important they all were to her. But I didn't reach out and offer her the support I should have. And I struggled with that too. But the truth is... there probably wasn't anything anyone could have done to change her mind. I don't agree with what she did... but I understand it.

What I'm trying to say is... you're not responsible for the choices she made. None of us should feel that way. I'm sure she struggled with it in her own way and we shouldn't take that away from her.

But... I can't bear to see you trying to take all these feelings on yourself. No one could do it alone. And seeing you hurt yourself... It hurts me too. I don't know if there's really anything I can do-- but I don't intend to stop trying.

[ Goodness. She... ended up saying a lot more than she intended. Towa's not sure how well she expressed what she wanted to-- her own head is still pretty chaotic in and of itself. But... she hopes it was good enough. ]

...that's all. Sorry, I ended up rambling more than I meant to. But... thanks for listening.

Comments

[biddentodance]

Good though, isn't it? Indecision. Means you care too much to settle for less than ideal.

[The polar opposite of him....or at least, who he was a year ago.]

....making me sound like such a great person. Not, though. Definitely a more selfish person than you, so.... Sure you'll find a way. To save your friends. All of them.

[overworker]

...but if I can't recognize what's important to me now, by trying to save everyone I might end up hurting them, and worse-- losing them all.

[If it were an ideal world that would be nice. But this is anything but. She's always known that. She should have, with her school background. The reality of life was not always very kind. All the good intentions in the world hadn't helped Rean when--

Mm.]

But I think you are, anyway. You fight for what you believe in, even if you know it's not the same kind of choice the rest of us would make. I feel like we should be the ones apologizing to you. We knew that you felt differently but we still tried to push our ideals onto you during those trials.

So... I'm sorry.

[She pauses for a second--]

I should try to take my own advice, and listen to others more. If you think it's possible for even someone like me to save them... then I'm sure you're right. There must be a way. But I don't think I'd be able to if it weren't for the rest of you. So... thanks. For supporting me.

[biddentodance]

Worry less, do more. Sometimes a flawed but quick plan is better than a perfect performance.

[Like his "lucky brake". It's true he'd had no guarantee it'd work or that he'd get the right control. But if he'd stood around deliberating, they definitely would've died.]

Fight for what I... [...] Have it wrong. Fight because it's all I know how to do. All I have left.

You're strong, Towa-chan... Kind, brave, too. Your friends are in good hands.

- spoilers for the ending of ToCSII -

[overworker]

Worrying... supporting... in truth, that's all I know how to do. My friends say that's enough, that it truly helps... but when it comes to doing things... all I can do is watch.

...let me tell you a story.

[Even though she can tell already that it's going to open up a wound that will result in a lot of pain; tears already welling up in her eyes. But she forces herself to keep speaking through it, in the steadiest voice she can manage.]

One of my dearest friends... he did something. I don't remember what. No-- I can't remember what it was. But... for some reason, we were separated for a long time. It doesn't matter what it was though-- we always wanted him to come back. Even if what he did was wrong... even if the rest of the world would have hated him... we still would have welcomed him back with open arms. I wanted that more than anything.

Rean... he promised me that he'd bring him back, make him graduate.

...but Crow died. And it was no one's fault. And you know... Rean... he apologized to me. For breaking his promise. As if he let me down in some way. Rean blamed himself for what happened...

But the reality was... that I was the one who should have apologized to him. If I'd done something... anything... he wouldn't have needed to carry that burden alone. Crow was my friend. I should have been the one trying to bring him back. Instead I... pushed my hopes and dreams onto someone else.

I'm really... not worthy... I know that, deep down.

But I'm going to keep trying. Probably... because that's all I know how to do. I think that maybe if I stay with you guys... I can change, maybe just a little. Maybe someone like me can learn to fight.

[She laughs a little, even though it's clear through the door that her voice is still a little thick from crying earlier.]

After all... even someone like you who "only knows how to fight" learned how to support someone like me, right?

[biddentodance]

Sound kind of like Fuuka-chan... SEES's tactical support. Always doubting, trying to find more she can do. Guess it's a consequence of staying safe behind an impenetrable barrier, watching the rest of us fight, but.... Support's vital. Couldn't have lasted this long without her getting us all out safely.

Not...the same kind of support you mean, I think, but same thing applies. Not the most noticeable or glorious role, but that doesn't mean it's not important.

[He's not sure that's what she needs to hear, to keep moving forward, but...she shouldn't feel guilty for supporting others and making them strong again.]

"Someone like you" - someone kind, brave, strong, ready to help strangers, determined to do what's right. Someone like that?

[overworker]

[Rean said something very similar to her once. At that time, things had been in their favor. It wasn't like the situation they're in now. But hearing it again... there has to be some merit in two people thinking the same thing, right? So while she's not entirely satisfied, it does cheer her up.]

I still want to be stronger, that one day... I can fight when I have to. But if you really believe that... then I hope you'll let me support you too. If we specialize in different things then... we should work together, right? And I don't want to see you get hurt.