[He smiles to himself, a little sadly, and then wraps both arms around Serenity, pulling her into a hug - or on his lap, if she'd prefer. He's silent for now, figuring that she'd likely need to cry first.]
[Given the choice, she will settle on his lap, because that warmth and closeness is everything. Serenity tries to hold it together, but there are some very obvious sniffles as the tears just start to break free anyway. So she presses her face to his chest.]
[my depression aside I didn't realize it was my turn to tag o(---(
Levity strokes her hair gently, holding her close. He hasn't yet lost people like that; those that graduated were usually fairly happy partings. He can guess it wasn't like that for Serenity; not to mention he knows how much she fears being alone.]
I shouldn't, I... I'm the one who's making this difficult for him.
[She sniffles and scrubs uselessly at her eyes-- because as soon as she wipes them away, more just take their place.]
Even though I know now that he doesn't want me there, I... told him that when my time comes I'll chase him down no matter what. [Hearing it out loud now makes her cringe.] I don't... know what possessed me to say something so-- so... conceited? Selfish? Pushy? Unfair? I don't... know.
[It's not that she regrets saying it necessarily. That would be easier, perhaps. She meant every word of it. She'd do anything for that stupid idiot. But the problem was-- this wasn't for him. It was her own stupid wish talking. Whether she likes it or not, broken sobs come out anyway as she shakes, hiding her face in her hands.]
I couldn't... I didn't want to accept that he really never... wanted to see me ever again. I'm such-- I'm such an idiot...
It breaks Levity's heart to see her like this, to see her question herself and call herself selfish for loving someone and wanting to be with them. Perhaps there isn't much he can do, but he still does his best, pulling Serenity still closer, hunching over her slightly as though to protect her.]
... I don't think he doesn't want to see you. I think he simply thinks he doesn't deserve you.
[He breathes out quietly.]
After that game, when you got hurt and I came over to see you... He was very protective of you. He told me that if I ever dare hurt you again, I'll have to face him. And later, when I asked for advice for gifts for you... He spoke of you with such affection. Those are not the actions of someone who doesn't want to be with you. Merely someone who fears letting himself be happy, I think.
[She cannot get rid of the feeling of disgust she feels towards herself. It doesn't stop her from feeling a sense of happiness that he'd felt that way about her... at least maybe at one time.]
There are just some things I don't believe should be a matter of "deserving". Love and happiness are two of them. I wanted to believe it was something like that too. But... when he told me being alone was what he really wanted... I didn't have the confidence to argue with him.
[She bites her lip.]
How can I say I love him if I just ignore his wishes and force my own selfish ones on him? I'd be a hypocrite. Because I can't pretend I'd be doing anything for him. Everything... it would all be for myself. And I hate that... I should just-- accept it. That... I don't have anything I could possibly do or... offer him. I can't make him happy. Maybe... I've only been hurting him all this time, because I... didn't want to let go.
If wanting to be with those you love is a bad thing, then I'm the worst too.
[His voice is soft, comforting - not placing blame on her, but trying to explain that she is neither alone in such feelings nor wrong.]
I do not believe there is anyone who truly wishes only for solitude. And if that was all he wanted, if it was the one thing that made him happy... I do not think he would have let you be so close with him. Nor is he the kind of man to indulge you merely out of obligation.
[But she gets what he's saying, even if it's hard to match to what she's feeling right now. She'd never blame him or anyone for feeling this way... even if it's not that simple. So...]
I've always known that it was inevitable that... we'd all kind of go our own ways someday. But in knowing that I guess... in the back of my mind, I've always feared that no matter how things are now, when it's all over I'll be alone again. Because I worry that there isn't really a good place for me to return to...
If I ended up all alone... if I had to start all over again... I don't know what I'd do.
[... Ah, that's a feeling he knows. The fear of loneliness and having to start somewhere with nothing. Though it certainly can't compare to what Serenity has been through, Levity's own time in Imeeji has been enough for him to understand how she must feel.
He holds her a little tighter, protectively, stroking her hair again.]
[He seems relieved that she didn't reject the proposition, a smile in his voice now.]
Of course. I've thought about it before, and... in truth, I believe Amaurot would be a great place for you. You are hardworking and curious, and I think you could really bloom there.
[She hasn't felt a kind of happiness like this before. Knowing that someone thought of her being a part of their life after all this was over. Serenity has to wipe her eyes again, clean up her face before she looks up at him again. She's well and truly smitten by how sweet and wonderful he is.]
[He smiles happily, leaning back but still hugging Serenity close - so that she can halfway rest on his chest. Enjoy boyfriend titty.]
Of course. I think you would enjoy helping me with my work, though it can get quite dull at times. Or perhaps you could become a teacher, or a caretaker?
[Serenity places her hands on her arms, leaning back into him. Boyfriend titty soft and warm... she just closes her eyes and listens to his voice.]
...please-- I can't possibly imagine anything with you being dull. [Said with nothing but fondness. But her voice softens considerably after.] Being able to spend my days working close to someone I love... feels like a dream. I don't know if I'd be of much help to you, but-- just thinking about it... it sounds so wonderful.
[Boyfriend titty soft and warm! Certified soft and warm too because he's an archer he got the tits.]
Oh, I am certain you would be of great help. You are thorough and thoughtful, responsible and attentive to details but able to compromise and find fresh solutions, too! All ideal qualities for workers of our Bureau.
[He smiles, slowly petting her arm.]
By "boring" I mostly mean that a lot of it is about doing paperwork. A lot of it.
And I happen to be quite good at reminding people to take a break when they need it.
[Levity chuckles softly - though it's mostly a joke, there's still room for genuinely being worried about Serenity overcommitting to the work.
The question, meanwhile, is not unexpected, if still a little sad. But fortunately he does have an answer to it. Levity smiles again, cupping her cheek gently.]
Of course. Why wouldn't I? I want to see you happy, Renny. I want you to shine as brightly as I know you can.
I... well-- of course I hoped, but... I didn't want to assume. That... you don't have something going on back home. Or that it wouldn't make things difficult for you. But... if I go with you, I... I'd want it to be with you. As... well... a partner. Or um... something... like that...
[Watch her just blush and stutter all over herself trying to say what she wants to say.]
[... oh. He blushes himself, but fortunately Serenity is so adorable tripping over her own words (and flustered enough for the both of them) that he doesn't have it in him to be too embarrassed. Instead, Levity smiles, taking her hand to press a kiss to her fingers, eyes flickering back to her mischievously.]
Hmmm? It is, in fact, quite common for bonded to work together.
["Bonded" is the key word here, and he's curious to see if she'll pick up on it. He's a gremlin, why do you like him]
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Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
Oh... mmm, of course you would say that.
[She smiles, wiping her eyes and nodding.]
I... mmn.
[Making sure the tea is good on it's own first, she scoots over next to him and leans on him a bit.]
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
Levity strokes her hair gently, holding her close. He hasn't yet lost people like that; those that graduated were usually fairly happy partings. He can guess it wasn't like that for Serenity; not to mention he knows how much she fears being alone.]
It's alright, Renny. It's alright to cry.
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
[She sniffles and scrubs uselessly at her eyes-- because as soon as she wipes them away, more just take their place.]
Even though I know now that he doesn't want me there, I... told him that when my time comes I'll chase him down no matter what. [Hearing it out loud now makes her cringe.] I don't... know what possessed me to say something so-- so... conceited? Selfish? Pushy? Unfair? I don't... know.
[It's not that she regrets saying it necessarily. That would be easier, perhaps. She meant every word of it. She'd do anything for that stupid idiot. But the problem was-- this wasn't for him. It was her own stupid wish talking. Whether she likes it or not, broken sobs come out anyway as she shakes, hiding her face in her hands.]
I couldn't... I didn't want to accept that he really never... wanted to see me ever again. I'm such-- I'm such an idiot...
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
It breaks Levity's heart to see her like this, to see her question herself and call herself selfish for loving someone and wanting to be with them. Perhaps there isn't much he can do, but he still does his best, pulling Serenity still closer, hunching over her slightly as though to protect her.]
... I don't think he doesn't want to see you. I think he simply thinks he doesn't deserve you.
[He breathes out quietly.]
After that game, when you got hurt and I came over to see you... He was very protective of you. He told me that if I ever dare hurt you again, I'll have to face him. And later, when I asked for advice for gifts for you... He spoke of you with such affection. Those are not the actions of someone who doesn't want to be with you. Merely someone who fears letting himself be happy, I think.
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
There are just some things I don't believe should be a matter of "deserving". Love and happiness are two of them. I wanted to believe it was something like that too. But... when he told me being alone was what he really wanted... I didn't have the confidence to argue with him.
[She bites her lip.]
How can I say I love him if I just ignore his wishes and force my own selfish ones on him? I'd be a hypocrite. Because I can't pretend I'd be doing anything for him. Everything... it would all be for myself. And I hate that... I should just-- accept it. That... I don't have anything I could possibly do or... offer him. I can't make him happy. Maybe... I've only been hurting him all this time, because I... didn't want to let go.
[Muffled groaning between sniffles.]
Urghhh... I'm the wooooooooorst.
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
[His voice is soft, comforting - not placing blame on her, but trying to explain that she is neither alone in such feelings nor wrong.]
I do not believe there is anyone who truly wishes only for solitude. And if that was all he wanted, if it was the one thing that made him happy... I do not think he would have let you be so close with him. Nor is he the kind of man to indulge you merely out of obligation.
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
[But she gets what he's saying, even if it's hard to match to what she's feeling right now. She'd never blame him or anyone for feeling this way... even if it's not that simple. So...]
I've always known that it was inevitable that... we'd all kind of go our own ways someday. But in knowing that I guess... in the back of my mind, I've always feared that no matter how things are now, when it's all over I'll be alone again. Because I worry that there isn't really a good place for me to return to...
If I ended up all alone... if I had to start all over again... I don't know what I'd do.
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
He holds her a little tighter, protectively, stroking her hair again.]
Then... why not come with me?
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
[She blinks, feeling a whole rush of emotions. She never expected anyone to ask her that. For a moment, she's speechless.
But she clings to him tighter.]
...you really mean that?
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
Of course. I've thought about it before, and... in truth, I believe Amaurot would be a great place for you. You are hardworking and curious, and I think you could really bloom there.
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
[She hasn't felt a kind of happiness like this before. Knowing that someone thought of her being a part of their life after all this was over. Serenity has to wipe her eyes again, clean up her face before she looks up at him again. She's well and truly smitten by how sweet and wonderful he is.]
If you're there then-- I'm sure I'd love it.
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
Of course. I think you would enjoy helping me with my work, though it can get quite dull at times. Or perhaps you could become a teacher, or a caretaker?
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
...please-- I can't possibly imagine anything with you being dull. [Said with nothing but fondness. But her voice softens considerably after.] Being able to spend my days working close to someone I love... feels like a dream. I don't know if I'd be of much help to you, but-- just thinking about it... it sounds so wonderful.
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
Oh, I am certain you would be of great help. You are thorough and thoughtful, responsible and attentive to details but able to compromise and find fresh solutions, too! All ideal qualities for workers of our Bureau.
[He smiles, slowly petting her arm.]
By "boring" I mostly mean that a lot of it is about doing paperwork. A lot of it.
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
Well... I just so happen to be pretty good at paperwork.
[She looks up, into his eyes. And when she speaks again, her voice is much softer.]
But I mean-- do you... do you really want to spend the rest of your future with me?
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
[Levity chuckles softly - though it's mostly a joke, there's still room for genuinely being worried about Serenity overcommitting to the work.
The question, meanwhile, is not unexpected, if still a little sad. But fortunately he does have an answer to it. Levity smiles again, cupping her cheek gently.]
Of course. Why wouldn't I? I want to see you happy, Renny. I want you to shine as brightly as I know you can.
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
[Surely not because she has required it, nope...]
I... well-- of course I hoped, but... I didn't want to assume. That... you don't have something going on back home. Or that it wouldn't make things difficult for you. But... if I go with you, I... I'd want it to be with you. As... well... a partner. Or um... something... like that...
[Watch her just blush and stutter all over herself trying to say what she wants to say.]
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
Hmmm? It is, in fact, quite common for bonded to work together.
["Bonded" is the key word here, and he's curious to see if she'll pick up on it. He's a gremlin, why do you like him]
Re: day 426, after she gets back from graduation
Bonded. She has no way to be sure it means what she thinks it does. Doesn't stop her from thinking it. Or her heart beating wildly.]
Bonded...? Us? I... don't know the specifics but I like the sound of it. I think I'd like that-- a lot.
[If she wasn't allowed to like gremlins she could not love either him or Lily and that is not a world she wants to live in okay]