[ He looks down at his tea once again, considering very carefully. After a long, quiet moment he looks up at Rean. ]
I was actually gonna ask you when you first showed up. I was reluctant when I realized how much you were already going through, but.... if I'm honest, it's what I really want.
[ He glances over at Towa. ]
Towa... you're one of my oldest, dearest friends and the most dependable person I've ever met. But... I can't ask you for this. I know that "it's not you, it's me" is the stupidest, most cliché thing I could possibly say but... unfortunately, sometimes the clichés are true.
[Serenity closes her eyes. If she's honest, it kills her.
But she has no intention of being honest. She knows this can't be easy, and she's not about to ruin it for her own selfish feelings. So she immediately opens them again and smiles.]
...it's okay, Crow. I understand. The important thing is that you'll be safe. And I know Rean can do that for you.
[She picks up her tea between her hands and stands to leave.]
You're really gonna make me say it, huh....? It's like this— If I think someone's already carrying more than enough burdens, then I'm not interested in asking 'em to be my Awakener.
[ He's quiet again for a long moment. He's not looking at either of them anymore, and when he speaks it's with as little emotion as he can possibly manage. ]
The relationship between Divine Knight and Awakener binds our souls together, usually to the benefit of both— the Awakener sustains the Divine Knight with their mana and the Divine Knight offers them their power. In a city where all one's normal power is cut off, a Divine Knight has nothing to offer. It's a one-way road... asking to sustain my existence while offering nothing in return.
Towa's right. You're not a burden. Just because you can't give... some power or whatever doesn't mean you're some kind of leech for needing help. That either of us could offer you support, especially something that can tangibly really help you, don't you think we'd want to?
I don't know what you've been through in your time as a divine knight, Crow, but I do know how you've treated me since I got here. And Towa can speak for herself, but I'm betting you've been as good a friend to her.
What you need isn't a burden. So what if you haven't got your powers? You're you. You're our friend. Do you think we need anything else to be there for you?
You know... that's why I didn't want to say anything. Because I knew you'd never agree with me, with how I feel about this. And I wasn't ready to hear you tell me none of that matters. ....I'm still not sure I am.
Crow Armbrust-- I can't begin to imagine what hardships you've been through. It's clear that there are more than a few things I still don't understand. So I'm sure there are a lot of reasons you feel the way you do... about this, about yourself... All of those experiences are a part of who you are now. Part of a history that we don't share with you.
Even so... I believe that all of those things have made you more of a person, not less.
Living with them all can't be easy... but I'm sure that not all of those memories are negative ones, either. Some of my most difficult memories are tied to events that irrevocably changed my life, and not all for the worse.
Remember... that no matter what... you will always be Crow Armbrust to us. Divine Knight, classmate, friend-- all of it. This is... just the beginning of us getting to know that side of you a little better.
As for the rest.... Just so you know, I've never done this without any trials so I'm kinda winging this. So you think you can offer me a drop of blood?
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You mentioned you're not used to relying on others anymore. Not that you were great at it in the first place.
But... whatever you've been through before, we're not going to let you off bring alone, okay?
It doesn't have to be either of us. But I want to know that you're leaning on someone, Crow.
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I was actually gonna ask you when you first showed up. I was reluctant when I realized how much you were already going through, but.... if I'm honest, it's what I really want.
[ He glances over at Towa. ]
Towa... you're one of my oldest, dearest friends and the most dependable person I've ever met. But... I can't ask you for this. I know that "it's not you, it's me" is the stupidest, most cliché thing I could possibly say but... unfortunately, sometimes the clichés are true.
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But she has no intention of being honest. She knows this can't be easy, and she's not about to ruin it for her own selfish feelings. So she immediately opens them again and smiles.]
...it's okay, Crow. I understand. The important thing is that you'll be safe. And I know Rean can do that for you.
[She picks up her tea between her hands and stands to leave.]
I'll let the two of you talk.
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Towa. Sit down.
Crow explain your third criteria. I've got my own suspicions.
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You're really gonna make me say it, huh....? It's like this— If I think someone's already carrying more than enough burdens, then I'm not interested in asking 'em to be my Awakener.
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...so whether or not you think it's a burden they're able to bear...
[Stares intently at her tea.]
It makes sense.
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What makes being your awakener a burden?
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The relationship between Divine Knight and Awakener binds our souls together, usually to the benefit of both— the Awakener sustains the Divine Knight with their mana and the Divine Knight offers them their power. In a city where all one's normal power is cut off, a Divine Knight has nothing to offer. It's a one-way road... asking to sustain my existence while offering nothing in return.
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We aren't here because we want something in return.
[She sets her cup down and looks up finally.]
We're here because we're worried about you. Because we want to make sure that no matter what, you'll be safe. That... no. You are not a burden.
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I don't know what you've been through in your time as a divine knight, Crow, but I do know how you've treated me since I got here. And Towa can speak for herself, but I'm betting you've been as good a friend to her.
What you need isn't a burden. So what if you haven't got your powers? You're you. You're our friend. Do you think we need anything else to be there for you?
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Haha.... hahahaha! You really are so soft, both of you. You know that?
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Even so... I believe that all of those things have made you more of a person, not less.
Living with them all can't be easy... but I'm sure that not all of those memories are negative ones, either. Some of my most difficult memories are tied to events that irrevocably changed my life, and not all for the worse.
Remember... that no matter what... you will always be Crow Armbrust to us. Divine Knight, classmate, friend-- all of it. This is... just the beginning of us getting to know that side of you a little better.
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...Can you have secondary contractors?
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I've never actually done it myself, but it's definitely possible.
[ His timeline's Rean has probably done it in the past, let's be real here. ]
If I had to do it for the first time, though.... I couldn't think of anyone better than you two.
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...I think that's an honor that I'd be more than happy to share with the both of you.
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[What.]
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Oh--! Um... I... I'll give it my all!
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I dunno, I think it'd look good on you.
[ There's another implication there, but he'll let that hang in the air for a moment before he turns to Towa. ]
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