The stars are charming. I could see how you could be concerned, but you are so full of emotion and feeling that very little if anything is lost at all. [And because it bears repeating.]
I was sure that... if anyone could see part that and still find me attractive, it would be you. But that's also why... it was scary. I don't want you to look at me differently or... become something you don't feel attracted to anymore...
There's not much you could do or become for that to happen. First and foremost I like you for you. Secondly, to be perfectly frank, I have certain proclivities anyway, so I would find things to like about you no matter how you changed.
But one of the things they targeted were our worst fears and nightmares.
For me that's... well, there are a lot of things, but being unnecessary... someone who can be cast aside and losing the people I care about are among some of the most important. You never know if... maybe there's... a limit. Even the most loving person can only overlook so much, right? My identity is already so shattered... one day, the people I love might see all the cracks. That's why I try so hard to hide it... I need to be someone worth keeping. Not... the broken mess I am.
That's... the kind of things that have been going through my head.
You are not "necessary" because you are not a tool, so don't think of yourself in those terms. What you are is a treasure. Friend. Lover. Confidant. Boundless potential. A woman who looks so cute when she's pouting. So many things are only "necessary" until you don't need them anymore or they're worn away, but no matter what you are, no matter who whether your name is Towa, Adalaide, or Serenity, you touch hearts wherever you go and are irreplaceable.
[The part of her head that's riddled with fear wants to argue. One day the people she loved would have a choice and she wouldn't be the one they would chose. She'd be alone again. But it's just a fear. A fear given power by a stupid game.
Lily's words are far more powerful to her than that.]
...that's all I want. I don't care about being hurt or whether or not I'm the first person you think about when these kinds of choices come your way. I can handle all that... as long as I have you with me.
Knowing that you can see past all my flaws and... see this person who's irreplaceable... that you still want me by your side... that's the reassurance I needed. I... really needed that. Thank you.
"I don't care about being hurt". "Not the first person you think about". I wish that you would stop devaluing yourself. You shouldn't be hurt in the first place, and so needlessly at that. And do you really think you're second-rate to me? Is that how you feel?
[She looks to the side, and guards her hurt. This isn't about her.]
...I suppose I can't argue that after what happened. So, I'm sorry. I will do better.
I guess, in a sense, I've gotten used to it. The idea of pain and... dying. It just... doesn't scare me as much as other things do anymore.
But when I was beheaded, they... got inside my head. It took hold of those greatest fears and... it won't let go.
...you have a lot of people you care for just as deeply as you do me. And games like that... you can't put everyone first. I know that. We had to choose someone to behead as well, the same as you did.
Now that you say it... I wonder if you know... It's been a very long time since I've had even a shadow of a doubt about the way you feel for me. You've always made me feel very secure about that; going out of your way to make me feel loved and really special. [...she slaps her cheeks.] And I'm not planning to start to doubt myself again now. No matter what my head is saying. My heart knows the answer.
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You are still so lovely.
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But one of the things they targeted were our worst fears and nightmares.
For me that's... well, there are a lot of things, but being unnecessary... someone who can be cast aside and losing the people I care about are among some of the most important. You never know if... maybe there's... a limit. Even the most loving person can only overlook so much, right? My identity is already so shattered... one day, the people I love might see all the cracks. That's why I try so hard to hide it... I need to be someone worth keeping. Not... the broken mess I am.
That's... the kind of things that have been going through my head.
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Lily's words are far more powerful to her than that.]
...that's all I want. I don't care about being hurt or whether or not I'm the first person you think about when these kinds of choices come your way. I can handle all that... as long as I have you with me.
Knowing that you can see past all my flaws and... see this person who's irreplaceable... that you still want me by your side... that's the reassurance I needed. I... really needed that. Thank you.
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Um. Is... did I say something wrong...?
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[She looks to the side, and guards her hurt. This isn't about her.]
...I suppose I can't argue that after what happened. So, I'm sorry. I will do better.
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But when I was beheaded, they... got inside my head. It took hold of those greatest fears and... it won't let go.
...you have a lot of people you care for just as deeply as you do me. And games like that... you can't put everyone first. I know that. We had to choose someone to behead as well, the same as you did.
Now that you say it... I wonder if you know... It's been a very long time since I've had even a shadow of a doubt about the way you feel for me. You've always made me feel very secure about that; going out of your way to make me feel loved and really special. [...she slaps her cheeks.] And I'm not planning to start to doubt myself again now. No matter what my head is saying. My heart knows the answer.